The South London Dictionary
Last night I paid an impromptu visit to our local school pub. The one that was a stone's throw up the hill from where we spent many a glorious year in an itchy green jumper and where most of us have spent at least one drunken night with a member of the IT staff?!
The place we all meet every Christmas Eve without prior arrangement, and the place you are guaranteed to run into someone you know/would rather forget.
One particular reprobate (who shall remain nameless) that we were educated alongside has taken the plunge and is going to 'find himself' in Thailand for a year or so and as such decided World Cup based beers in our local was a great way to send him on his way. Low and behold, out came some of the oldest faces from tutor groups of yesteryear.
In one corner, of one pub, in one part of South London, sat a group of grown up kids that hadn't all been together for nearly ten years. Not a lot had changed. Well, there's a few kids in the mix, a couple of serious jobs and a flat or two but on the whole we're still the same fools.
In particular, the way we speak to each other is exactly the same it was in Mr 'Sweaty' Hart's Geography classes. The old catchphrases and pisstaking comments were as free flowing as the tequila.
It got me thinking. If we were in a pub anywhere else in the country, or anywhere else in London for that matter, nobody would have a bloody clue what we were talking about. I decided it was time to educate all those unfortunate enough to not grow up in glorious South London to some of the key words and terms that make up our beautiful way of speaking.
Here it is.
The South London Dictionary
An abbreviation for the word banter. A term used to justify any harsh, offensive or mildly sexist comment.
A word used to describe something you don't particularly want to do.
'don't make me go to the bar, that's long'
A term used to describe being somewhat put out by a situation.
Adjective. Used to describe someone really unattractive.
'good to see she's still completely butterz'
Derogatory term that normally follows someone making an absolute tit of themselves
"did you drunk text that girl? You mug"
We're the red & blue army
A term used to highlight that the person supports Crystal Palace Football Club, and if you don't, your opinion is no longer valid to him/her.
Don't air me
A term used to highlight the fact you'd rather not be ignored.
See him off
Ask that young man to leave/hurt him.
1. Something that's quite harsh and hard to deal with 'she aired you bruv, that's deep'
2. Something's pretty good. 'you won the lottery? Deep'.
Food. Preferably fried chicken. Preferably a two piece and chips.
'I need munch'
ChunderTo be violently sick. Usually after being licked.
A humorous gentleman. A fellow who courts many a female.
Plenty, many, lots of.
'bare people in this pub'
More often used in a sarcastic context. For example the above sentence would be used upon arrival in a completely empty pub.
To pass something to someone.
"dash me the paper"
A somewhat hostile disagreement.
Something's that's pretty bloody good.
& last but not least. Everyone's favourite.
An absolute idiot.
"look at that chief, going to Thailand to 'find himself'"